If Fenton could talk, I'm fairly positive this is what he would say

This is an important note to all my friends up there in Heaven who haven't come down here to earth yet.
Before you come down here, you'll be told about this lady who gives you milk when you're hungry and this guy who is really good at bouncing you when you are sad.
They're pretty decent people most of the time, so it's nice to have them around.
But what they don't tell you is that there is a crazed girl down here too.
You'll just be sitting on your comfy couch (well more like lounging between the two cushions since sitting won't be one of your skills until later on) and out of nowhere there will be this amazingly high pitched screeching and hollering that goes like this,  "BEEEEBEEEEE!!!!!"
And that is a siren that warns you when the crazed girl is making an entrance.
Before that siren has even finished it's horrendous screeching you will feel sharp claws attacking your whole body.
And there will be the crazed girl, perched next to you, most likely with some innocent toy clasped in her claws that she is sure to introduce to you.
Sometimes she attacks you for the sole purpose of pointing out all of your body parts (especially your knee) to the milk lady who will ridiculously applaud her for something she's already done fifty two times this week.
This last time she attacked she had all of her "cooking utensils" in her hands and she proceeded to make some disgusting make-believe oatmeal for me and force feed it down my throat.
It was the worst oatmeal I've ever had.
I tried to make her stop by making some very obvious signals, but did that stop her? 
No it did not.
In fact, it made it worse, she thought I was in need of a drink to wash down her wretched oatmeal and so she pretended to pour milk into my mouth.
So I started to cry so that the milk lady would come and rescue me but she just sat there and laughed and recorded the awful moment with her horrible flashing black box.
And to make it even worse, the bouncing guy came home and the milk lady laughed and smiled while she told him what the crazed girl had done to me.
I caught her saying the word, "cute" multiple times.
Milk Lady, if this treatment is considered cute then the time I threw up all over the two of us was positively adorable.
So beware, friends, of the crazed girl.
For some of you it will be a crazed boy rather than a girl and for some of you there will be more than one. 
I pity you already, good luck surviving that.

Love, Fenton

 //Ella on the other hand would have a different story//

My mom got me this new toy named Fifi and he is by far the best toy I have ever had!
He has a knee.
And sometimes I make him my yummy oatmeal and he eats it and he tells me how good it is.
When he cries like this, that means he loves it!
I love him!
 Love, Ella


  1. This was positively one of my all time favorite posts!! I was giggling the whole time, and my eyes were watering, and I could hardly sit up straight in my chair. And that you wrote it from both Fenton's and Ella's perspectives ... PRICELESS!! Oh goodness I need a drink of water to wet my throat again.

  2. Hahaha!!! To make it even better, I was eating my own oatmeal as I read this :)