Tutorial: How to become an eating champ-- by Ella

Hey Guys.

Did you know that if eating were an olympic event I would probably win a gold medal?
Well, I would. 
Because I'm an eating champ.
So today I thought I would teach you some really useful eating techniques so that you can be an eating champ too.

First, you need to start off your meal with some stretching. 
This is very important because sometimes there is a noodle or a piece of meat that is very far away from you and you need to be able to reach far enough to get it.

It's a good thing I stretched, or else I wouldn't have been able to get that noodle I really wanted.

Also, you need to work on your vocal chords and make sure that you can make loud yelling and screeching noises.
This is useful for when you run out of food or if you want a new kind of food, you can just use your vocal chords and yell really loud so your mom will get you more food.

Sometimes it helps if you work on your facial expressions so that you can tell your mom through your face things like, "Mom, this food is gross."
The face I'm making above says, "Mom, I'm done. Take this away."

See? It worked.
She took my food away like I wanted.
So, now onto cleaning yourself off after a meal.

If you are like me, you probably get food all over your tummy and legs.
I especially like to store food in between my thighs and my diaper so that my mom has to pull it all out.
Sometimes while she's pulling it out, I just reach down and grab another handful from where it's stored between my legs and diaper and eat more while she's cleaning me. 
It's like saving a little snack for later.

You also need to clean your feet.

Sometimes you drop the wash cloth, and that's okay.

Just pick it up again (as you can see, those stretches really are very important).

And if you want, you can also wave your washcloth around and make water fly everywhere, that is a fun thing to do and your mom will love it.

One final tip:
When you leave a restaurant, make sure that they know that you were there.
This is important.
Always leave a trail to mark where you've been.
It's especially helpful if you spit out the foods you didn't like on the floor so that the people at the restaurant know what foods don't taste so good at their restaurant.
Above, I spit out the broccoli and the carrots and tomatoes, because they didn't taste very good.
The restaurant people will love you more if you do this.

Well, those are all my tips for right now.
If you work on doing those things, you too can be an eating champ.

Love, Ella


  1. Oh Ella, I have so far to go before I can become an eating champ like you!!

  2. Bahaha this is hilarious! I'm going to make sure to let all restaurants know which foods taste bad from now on

  3. Hilarious! Recently, my one year old daughter, Charlotte, let the restaurant know that she was not impressed with her grilled cheese sandwich nor the tortilla chips. I was unaware this was a universal method of complaint.